What does a scanner see?

Whatever it is that's watching, it's not human. It doesn't ever blink. What does a scanner see? Into the head? Down into the heart? Does it see into me, into us? Clearly or darkly? I hope it sees clearly, because I can't any longer see into myself. I see only murk. I hope for everyone's sake the scanners do better. Because if the scanner sees only darkly, the way I do, then we're cursed and cursed again like we have been continually, and we’ll wind up dead this way, knowing very little and getting that little fragment wrong too.

- Paraphrased from A Scanner Darkly by Philip K. Dick

Holiday 2010

I'm getting Black Ops for Christmas. That has been prearranged with my wife. For adults most of the magic is lost from the Christmas experience. If I were a child I would "ask Santa" and then spend December with my fingers crossed. You can drop "subtle" hints as an adult, but I don't have the patients for that. If by some chance she doesn't get it for me I'll just go buy it myself, so either way I'll be playing it before the new year. Yay Christmas.

Until then I'm trying to prestige a second time in MW2. I seem to be leveling up crazy fast as compared to my first time though. less than two months and I'm lvl38. It took me 11 months to Prestige the first time.

How Do You Spell Awesome?

With an M and an E.

I beat it. I beat Mile High Club on veteran. I feel great. I am great. I am the man.

Sure I'm not the only one who's ever done it, but if you want a challenge in gaming this is it man. This is the one. And I did it in about 40 min today. I spent probably around 3 hours on it yesterday with no luck. That's always the way it is though isn't it? You have to step back from a problem, come back at it refreshed the next day, with newly grown brain cells specifically designed for the task. Neuropathways mapped out for your eventual success.

This feels like the kind of rush I used to get after a really great race. It feels like setting a new PR in the 800m. It makes me want to go for a run.

So now I have my first 100% complete game.



Technically Borderlands was my first with 1000 GS and 100% of the main game's cheevos (Fallout 3 was my first with 1000). But Xbox doesn't recognize 1000 as 100% if there is any DCL achievements (weather you have the DLC or not!), so it doesn't show up. So I will have to buy two more expansions for Borderlands if I want an official 100%. Which of course is bullshit. Same thing with Fallout 3, but I'm not going to bother playing through with a third character just to get the neutral-alignment achievements anyway so oh-well.

I'm going for a run.



Also, Happy Birthday to my love!

Buck Futter

I have been playing this level for about 2 hours. Or more. Time sort of slips away with this kind of thing. I know that when I started it was light out, but no longer. Fuck this level. Fuck This level too. I'v been trying to beat that one for a while now. Some say it's the hardest COD level ever. But maybe they don't know about Mile High Club because they havn't beaten the game? The video I put in the last post makes it look easy, but I guarantee you the person who made that spent a significant segment of their life force to create that. Not life TIME, life FORCE.

I've come soooo close to beating this level. I know it's possible and that only makes it worse . I'm going to have to quit for the night. I want to soldier on (like I did through War Room) but I've been playing this shit for about 5 hours strait now and I can feel my brain swelling. This is the kind of psychological "treatments" they give prisoners in Abu Ghraib.

Just one goddamn achievement to go...


OH and did I mention the worst part? MY OWN FUCKING TEAMMATES KEEP SHOOTING ME IN THE BACK!!! LIKE 50% OF THE GODDAMN TIME! I walk down the first hallway and there is no one to shoot me from the front, it HAS to be them. AAARRRGGG!!!

Fuck.

FFFFFUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCCCCCCCCCCCCKKKKKKKKKK.



Fuck.

The Prestige

Last week I finally reached Prestige in MW2. It felt good to finally get there. My rise through the ranks since then seems to be going much faster than it did the first time. I'd like to think I'm better at the game than I was 11 months ago, but I'm pretty sure the enlisted levels require a lot less XP. We'll see haw fast I can get to Prestige 2.

My wife asked me if I wanted a game for Christmas and I told her I wanted CoD Black Ops. I don't usually think of myself as a primarily FPS player by it's the only new game I'm genuinely excited about. Fallout New Vegas should be a great game, but I still have 2 expansions for Fallout 3 to get through so I won't be playing F:NV anytime soon. I'm going to try really hard not to buy any new games for the rest of the year, partially to save money but mostly because I have a ton of great games I haven't given enough attention to.

Next up: Even more Borderlands. I'm lvl 38 and just started playthrough two. The new DLC bumps the level cap to 70... time to roll up my sleeves.

If Missiles Opened Doors

What I'm thinking about now:

Going out and buying all three Etrian Odyssey games... and a DS to play them on. Why? Who the fuck knows. I barely knew they existed until an hour ago when I read this. That led to a visit to the games' websites. Which led to me wanting them. I don't necessarily like this kind of long winded, sadistically difficult JRPG, but I like the idea of them. I want to like them. I may have spoken before about my attraction to Atlus games. The two most recent for me were Disgaea and Odin Sphere. They are two phenomenal games but they are deep-fat-fried in the 'ol grind aesthetic and Odin Sphere has that punishing difficulty that is so typical of Atlus. The bottom line is, I just don't have enough days in my life to dedicate to these pursuits. Perhaps if I were sickly and could not leave my bed.


I finished Shadow Complex yesterday in what I think was a five hour stretch. Lack of sleep had me in a fog so memory of the event is blurry, but I have the achievements so I know it happened. If I were to review this game I would use a single word: Metroid. Or if I used two words: Super Metroid. You can tell these guys have played that game before and you can tell it's been on their minds quite a bit since. There are sections of the map that are almost direct translations. As a fan of SM myself Shadow Complex grew on me more every time I was reminded of it. If we had never made 3D games, if sidescrollers were still king and continued to progress graphically this kind of thing would have sold millions. A part of me wants to live in that world.

Lord of the Rings Online is now free to play and that has spurred me to play it just as it did a year ago. There is still money involved to be sure, but it's involved via micro transactions. This idea I really like. While I haven't spent any money on the game yet, I feel I'm much more likely to spend a few dollars for some extra content than I am on a subscription fee. It just never made sense to me to pay over and over again for the same game. When you don't know how much you are going to be able to play in a given time period, you don't really have a clear idea of what you are paying for. But if some super-special armor costs one dollar American then I know exactly what getting and what it's costing me. I really hope this business model works out for Turbine and other developers because it sure works out for the consumer. I also want to point out how cool it is to play in Middle Earth. LOTRO as a game hasn't shown me any real stand-out moments yet, but the ability to explore all the locations from the books is very cool. Game enthusiasts are always talking about immersion. LOTRO doesn't make me float out of my chair or anything, but it makes it easier to imagine myself a traveler in Tolkien's world.